"Did You Know That A Dolphin is Just A Gay Shark?!"

Ahhh, Glee. How I have missed you so...



My entire week is now better, and more cheerful just because this show is back.

Monday Movie Moment: Up In The Air

All movies have great moments. Some can be smaller, more insignificant; others can be huge and important. In Up In The Air, there's a great moment that comes in a scene about halfway through the film. Anna Kendrick's character, Natalie, has just gotten a break-up text message from her boyfriend and is upset. Vera Farmiga's character, Alex, responds by calling him a prick and Natalie says, "but what does that make me? Someone who falls for a prick" Alex's answer is one of the great moments of the film. She says, "We all fall for the prick. Pricks are spontaneous, they're unpredictable and they're fun. And then we're surprised when they turn out to be pricks." (SPOILER ALERT) After having seen the film, the scene is full of so much irony. Alex speaks of the prick, but ends up being "the prick" to George Clooney's Ryan Bingham when he turns up at her house, only to find out that she's married, with kids, and thinks of her rendezvous with him as an escape from her normal life. The moment also helps drive home the huge differences between Ryan and Alex. Ryan looks at going out on the road as him being himself and when Alex goes on the road she's looking to be someone else.



Look for more Movie Moments on future Mondays. In the meantime, tell me in the comments, what are your favorite movie moments?

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Programming For A Word From The World of Sports: WTF?!?!?!!?

Last night, in a sudden and very random move, The Pittsburgh Steelers traded away, number 1 reciever and superbowl hero, Santonio Holmes (79 catches, 1248yrds, 15.9avg in 2009) to the New York Jets. The price for such a player? One singlular 5th round pick. The 155th overall pick in the draft. I understand the Roonie's feelings about Holmes. His problems off the field have been getting steadily worse for a few years. What I don't understand though is why they didn't care about getting more for him. If they'd cared they could have gotten a 4th or even 3rd round draft pick. The Steelers organization will regret this decision if, come February, Holmes is once again a Superbowl hero...but for The Jets. Speaking of The Jets, they are going to be monstrous. Playoff bound for sure.

Lazy Sunday: In Which I Try To Explain My Affinity For Cooking Shows

Lazy Sunday, wake up in the late afternoon.
Call Parnell just to see how hes doin.
Hello?
What up, Parns?
Yo Samberg, whats crackin?
You thinking what Im thinkin?
NARNIA.
Man, its happenin.- "Lazy Sunday" by The Lonely Island

Another Lazy Sunday is here! The day in the week where you sleep in and spend your day doing what you want, at your own pace, and just taking some time off from life. Sundays, for me, can be valuable for catching up on TV from the week. Today I was catching up on Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (US Version). He really is a brilliant chef and restauranteur. Also, he's FEARLESS! He's ventured into so many smelly, disgusting, cockroach infested kitchens in an attempt to bring restaurants back from the dead. Watching the shows today got me thinking about culinary shows in general. I'm sure most of my readers don't know this, but I've been a Vegan since July 20th, 2009. I haven't had any meat and only the smallest bit of dairy since. While in Pittsburgh last week, I took advantage of my Grandmother's FIOS to enjoy cable's most exciting channel: Food Network. My Mother didn't understand why a Vegan such as myself would love watching cooking shows so much, since its all food I don't eat anymore. The answer is a simple one. Food is a marvelous thing. Even though I don't eat a lot of it anymore, I still love seeing what people can do with it. For instance, I love watching Guy Fierri, on Diners, Drive-Ins, & Dives, showcase amazing, fine dining food going on in--a local bar. Its amazing to me that I could walk down some street and see a normal looking, everyday bar thats serving up the towns richest, best food. I love seeing the brilliant chefs on Iron Chef: America take food and make it into more of an art form. Whether you can eat it or not, beautiful cooking and sensational food is still something fun to learn about and watch.

My favorite show about food isn't even on the Food Network. Anthony Bourdain's: No Reservations, on the Travel Network, showcases all sorts of food, normal and exotic, all across the world. What I absolutely love about the show though is that Bourdain also shows the culture and his appreciation for it. The show proves that here in the US, or even in hostile or third world countries, food is a universal language.

Thats it for this Lazy Sunday. How are you all spending yours?

Weekend Movie Picks & The Friday Five

After the recent bombardment of new releases from major studios, this weekend has only one real new and noteworthy movie coming out. Date Night, starring Steve Carrel and Tina Fey, looks to be a very funny movie. Director Shawn Levy is taking a break from his usual CGI-heavy films which should also help this film succeed. If you're looking to stay in this weekend, I reccomend going to your local Blockbuster, RedBox, or Hollywood Video and renting Werner Herzog's Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. Starring Nicholas Cage and Eva Mendes, the film follows a rogue detective who is devoted to his job, as well as scoring drugs. In the aftermath of hurricane Katrina he becomes a full-fledged addict. Complicating things is the prostitute he loves (played by Eva Mendes). Together they descend into their own world marked by desire, compulsion, and conscience. Bottom line though, its Werner Herzog directing Nicholas Cage, so rent/buy/download it!

 Today has been a pretty boring day, but the good news is it gave me plenty of time to find some things on the internet that I think are pretty damn cool. With out further hesitation, I present The Friday Five:

• First and foremost:  fuckyeahmashups If you've ever gone clubbing, or listened to the radio late at night or on Halloween then you already know what a mashup is. For those of you who don't know, a mash up is when you take any 2 or more songs and put them together to create a super song of sorts. fuckyeahmashups is devoted entirely to the best mashups out there. Featuring countless artists, the site updates regularly and has over 40 pages of mashups currently on the site.
• There have been a lot of good trailers coming out lately. Today I happened upon the trailer for Will Farrel's upcoming film The Other Guys. The film pairs Farrel with Mark Wahlberg as two inept cops who look up to, and try to be like their department's all-star detectives; played by Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Let me state the obvious: BEST. CAST. EVER. Seriously though, the movie looks hilarious.
• A lot of people have criticized Jimmy Fallon's Late Night vision. Personally, I think he started out with terrible sketches and writers, but lately I think he's improved tenfold. He's started doing spoofs of popular TV shows. The first was LATE, his spoof/homage to LOST. As funny as that was, the latest spoof, 6-BEE, is better. Here, Jimmy is spoofing Glee and its hilarious and fun. The second episode finds Jimmy and his fellow Glee club members distraught at having to compete against the cast of Parks & Recreation along with a certain band of Late Night traitors.
• The other great trailer I saw today was for Sylvester Stallone's The Expendibles. This movie looks to be the action movie junkie's wet dream. I dont care how bad the dialogue could be or any glaring plot holes or cliches that make it into the film, I'm going to see this fucking movie!
• Finally, to cap this week's Friday Five, I need to share my new favorite thing in the world: Old Spice TV ads. Don't you judge me! It has been a long time since I've seen commercials as funny as these have been. The latest ones, starring Terry Crews, are gut-busting. Watch, and laugh yourself silly!

Tuesday TV Round-Up!

Its only Tuesday and already there have been lots on the tube to talk about:

• FOX had my total attention Monday night with an epic 2 hour dose of 24. It seems that ever since the talk began about the show being cancelled, it got a trillion times better, and now that its been officially cancelled it looks to be going off in style. Jack raced to find President Hassan and CTU dealt with their mole; but the real shocker came in the scenes for next week's episode: the return of Ex-President Logan!!  I'm truly going to miss 24. It leaves Television in May having left a great mark. Action/Thriller shows will forever be held to the standards set by 24. The show also revitalized Kiefer Sutherland's career. This is maybe the best thing to come of it, for Kiefer is a fine actor who deserves so much more then many of the roles he's had in his career.
• Also on Monday: The NCAA National Championship Game. This game was so intense! (and to think I almost didn't watch it!) Butler put up a strong effort and the game very nearly became a "Hoosiers 2" (one of the announcer's quipped "Do you believe in sequels?!" right after returning from commercial break before the game's final 13 seconds.) I will admit I was bummed afterward but it was still an excellent game. Fuck Congrats Duke.
• If you know me well, then you know that Tuesdays have turned into my big TV night this year. Starting at 8pm is American Idol. Until they go back to the 1-hour episodes I won't be watching the whole thing live (sorry, LOST is WAY more important). This week it was the Lennon-McCartney songbook. (UGH!....not because of the music, but because of the fact this years top 12 mainly sucks and would mess up great songs) Before 9pm I was able to see Aaron Kelly (“The Long and Winding Road”), Katie Stevens (“Let It Be”), Andrew Garcia (“Can’t Buy Me Love”), and Michael Lynche (“Eleanor Rigby”) The only one who remotely impressed me was Michael Lynche. He made Eleanor Rigby sound like a modern R&B hit. As 9pm approached I got a sinking feeling that I'd miss seeing Crystal Bowersox's performance before LOST started. Sure enough, as it hit 8:57pm I was teased by Crystal Bowersox's impending performance only to have it start after 9pm and thus making me miss it. (I'm sure she was amazing) I'll update this once I see the remaining performances.
• 
  
  
  Finally, the main event: LOST.(SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!) This weeks episode centered on Desmond. The biggest thing was that the episode finally began to show us how the sideways storyline relates to the current Island one. The episode also prominantly featured Dominic Monaghan's Charlie. I cant wait the 7 days till the next new episode! For any of my readers (HA! I crack myself up) who are also LOST nuts, I emplore you to check out Entertainment Weekly's Jeff "Doc" Jensen's LOST recap collumn, which will post after sunrise. www.ew.com
• My Tuesday night gets even more crowded at 10pm with a fork in my great TV road. One direction takes me to the wonderful-in-every-way "Parenthood"* on NBC; the other keeps me on ABC for "V" Tonight I watched "V" only because my father really wanted to and I can watch Parenthood on Hulu. "V" had a fairly strong episode tonight. Its strange, but I really feel Morris Chesnutt is getting the best material and doing the best with it right now. I adore Elizabeth Mitchell, but ever since the show returned her character has been stuck in a holding pattern. She just keeps worrying about her son and walking around looking confused. I really cannot stand Joel Gretsch's Father Jack Landry. As an actor hes terribly stiff and the character is flat. Hopefully we learn more about him soon. Theres something about the show that is starting to bother me. I noticed it last week and even more tonight. Theres an underlying flatness to the entire show. While I do enjoy it and the story I also just get a dull vibe from it.

That about does it for the TV Round-Up. As far as the rest of the week goes:
Wednesday: Check out the ridiculous, yet, fun Human Target @ 8pm on FOX. Also, the premiere of the new season of Top Chef Masters on Bravo @ 11pm
Thursday: Flash Forward probably won't get picked up for a second season, so watch it while its around on ABC @ 8pm


*NBC's Parenthood is simply fantastic. Its hard to find a better show on TV right now. The cast is brilliant as is the writing and its a total joy to watch.

Even If They Don't Win The Oscar, The Nomination SHOULD Be Enough

In each of the 24 Oscar categories there can be only one winner...of a golden statue, that is. The remaining "Losers" get the customary Oscar gift basket. This year's gift basket (why its called a basket, what with so many items I do not know) is valued at over $85,000. Let me be the first to say "WHOA!" In the last few months we've seen two global catastrophes--the earthquake in Haiti and the earthquake in Chile. The world seems to be falling apart and all the Oscar "Losers" will get Gift Baskets that, when all baskets combined, reach a value of over 8 million dollars. So the question is, why can't the academy forgo these ridiculous gift baskets and make charitable contributions in the nominees' name?! I'm all for celebrating the best that the film industry has to offer but, when so many other people in the world are without basic necessities, it just doesn't seem right to be celebrating these achievements with a mountain of "swag".

Just so it can be understood how ridiculous these gift baskets are, I've included a complete list of all the items in the gift baskets.

* Gourmet artisan chocolate creations from Chocolatines by Sweet Endeavours that will sweeten the bitter Oscar loss with a 16-piece Contempo Collection, Chocolate-dipped Bacon, Matcha Sesame Bark, Mini Lux Turtles and Diamond Collection Champagne Ganache


* Fancy Feast's "Celebrate the Moment" gift package including a FlipCam Mino, Tiffany crystal-studded cat collar and an assortment of Fancy Feast Appetizers for Cats


* HGTV Green Home Mattress Collection by Serta


* The Oral-B Pulsonic slim & sleek electric toothbrush


* $4,000 limited edition (only 125 made) luxury Leather Travel Bag from Victorinox, makers of the Original Swiss Army Knife


* Private island vacation at the Turks & Caicos Sporting Club at Ambergris Clay


* $45,000 private & exclusive use of an African Safari Lodge from Premier Tours (includes four nights at the luxurious Lion Sands Private Game Reserve in South Africa for up to 8 adults and 8 kids, all meals prepared daily by a private chef, daily private game drives in open safari vehicles and guided nature walks)


* $14,500 four-night resort stay in a seaside suite with breakfast in bed at the Monte Carlo Beach Hotel in the Principality of Monaco


* DeLea Signature Perfume Oil


* A $7,000 three-night all-inclusive rustic getaway to Winvian Luxury Hotel in the Litchfield Hills of Connecticut (2009 "losing" nominees Ron Howard and Frank Langella redeemed last year)


* AG Hair Cosmetics deluxe Colour Savour gift set


* Ideeli.com special access online shopping cards


* Professional dog studio photography package from Otis & Lucy (Paris Hilton is a fan)


* BlueFox Extreme Bluetooth headset


* An "Exclusively Scandinavian Gift Basket" from The Scandinavian Company (items from the line can be found in Heidi Klum's closet)


* A year's supply of Altoids Smalls


* The Pig Board from Snout a Pig


* Modern Meditations - Rock Goes Zen CD sets


* Ila DUSK personal security alarm


* iFLY indoor skydiving experience


* Eco-friendly certified carbon free SoHo Ultra-Quiet personal shredder from GoECOlife


* Herbalife Nutritional Products including Shake Mix and Best Defense immune booster supplement


* The Fifth Agreement by don Miguel Ruiz


* Assortment of all-natural designer dog toys, bowls and leashes from Petprojekt


* Wellness WellBites and Pure Rewards all-natural dog snacks from Wellpet


* WooLoot waterproof tourmaline sport watches


* Fashion-forward costume jewelry from MILLIANNA Jewelry


* La Peau Couture Organic Wrinkle Diminishing Serum (priced at $499 per jar)


* Slimware portion-control plates (used by body-conscious Hollywood stars such as Rene Russo, Kristin Chenoweth, Emily Procter and Ashlee Simpson)


* 10 personal training sessions from Huntley Drive Fitness (where previous nominees Melissa Leo and Jason Reitman train)


* One week all-inclusive fitness bootcamp from Live In Fitness Enterprise (former Oscar nominee Angela Bassett just finished the Red Carpet Bootcamp Program)

What Makes Me Smile At 6AM?

This...



In Theaters February 26th, 2010

A Decade Under The Influence

 My 30 Favorite Movies of the Last Decade

Avatar
The Hurricane
The Hurt Locker
There Will Be Blood
The Royal Tenenbaums
Lost In Translation
Love Actually
Requiem For A Dream
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
25th hour
Little Miss Sunshine
No Country For Old Men
Slumdog Millionaire
Wall-E
Munich
Almost Famous
The Aviator
Minority Report
The Departed
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
Gladiator
Collateral
Seabiscuit
Moulin Rouge!
Half Nelson
Children Of Men
Into The Wild
Brokeback Mountain
Road To Perdition

Lord Of The Rings Trilogy

To Boldly Go Where No DVD Collector Has Gone Before...

The other day, as I gazed at the numerous, towering piles of DVDs scattered around my home, I came to the conclusion that maybe it is time to catalog them. The task is definitly a daunting one; my collection exceeds 200 DVDs. In each catalog entry I hope to have the title, director, year, format(WS/FS), along with value. The purpose of distinguishing the few dvds I own that are Full Screen is so I know which ones I need to put on EBAY. With the help of Google Spreadsheets I hope to be done in a few weeks. Will post updates on my progress...